ˇYa Basta!
The "Boycott America" Campaign!
Before we discuss how ludicrous, impossible, and ineffectual this idea is, we'd like to draw your attention to the following headlines:
March 13 Backing off a campaign pledge, President Bush told Congress today he will not regulate carbon dioxide emissions from power plants.
March 28 President Bush has reneged on America's commitment to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by backing out of the Kyoto Accord, signed by the United States' government in 1997.
With the withdrawal of the United States from the Kyoto Accord all initiatives have been brought to a standstill. The United States is the world's largest producer of pollutants related to global warming. Pressure will now grow on industries around the world to compete with American industries that need not comply with regulations designed to reduce greenhouse gases.
That's why we are launching the "Boycott America Campaign".
Impossible, you say? The place is too BIG? It has a lot of companies all over the world that make tons of STUFF that you want, and that's a big PROBLEM for you?
Well, try this for starters:
- Avoid discretionary travel to the United States
- Where possible, purchase liquor products from other countries
- Where possible, purchase food products from other countries
- Avoid fast food. The industry is mostly controlled by American companies. Besides, it's gross.
- Tell your friends. If they think you're being stupid, tell them that you are a roaring mouse, and they are but pip- squeaking, pathetic little slave mice.
- Seriously: If it says "Made in America", don't buy it. Why encourage the lunatics?
For bonus points, try not to buy things from American Corporations.
Ok, get off the floor. That's why they're called bonus points.
The "Boycott America" headquarters will be providing updates to report on how the campaign is progressing.
If you are fluent in another language, please translate this document and send it on!
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