Re: <nettime> bossy cunts online

[kathy@contrib.de (Kathy)]

Dear Peter,

I am really surprised that you had such a negative reaction to the FACE
SETTINGS brunch that was held in Liverpool during the VideoPositive
festival, and that you did not say anything at the time.  It was unfortunate
that the brunch in Liverpool could not be held in a private room, it was a
last minute problem because of the lack of kitchen staff that day.  It was
uncomfortable for all of us to be crowded among the others in the lunchroom.
There was no intention to make an aggressive presentation of "women only".
Rather, it was a chance to bring some women together who wanted to get to
know one another, at perhaps the only time they would have to be at the same
table, and speak personally with each other.  Conferences can be opressively
isolating.  Anyway, it is a long tradition that women gather, talk together
when they work, and share information.  It does not happen enough in the
digital community.  

Since Eva and I started the FACE SETTINGS project, we have become more and
more aware of the need for women to communicate together about their not
only their working and professional lives, but also their personal lives.
Our web project not only promotes good communication between women online,
it also features recipes, shared by females and men who love the art of
cooking, and the nurturing act of cooking for others.  It is a project in
process, and we intend to work on it for the next few years, building-in
many new features as they are suggested by the many participants.  For
females, this is a normal way of working...and there are indeed big
differences in the way women and men communicate...and work together.  This
is not my idea alone, it is quite a linguistic study already, for years.
But, not to misunderstand, I have no problem at all identifying with
feminist ideas, projects, or ideals, either.  I don't feel that they are
counter productive to art principles in general, and they are by no means
anti-men.     

I am quite surprised at the reactions by so many men...especially men from
the so-called "ex-east", and their strong feeling about being "left out" of
our "girls" meetings.  What we have found out, unfortunately, is that when
we have invited men into the discussions, or when men have come in
unexpectedly, the style of conversation, and the kind of information
discussed, changes dramatically.  

There is much to say on this topic, but my time is limited by a train I must
catch in a short time today.  I only hope that you can open up your
sitelines a bit, and be more tolerant of females who desire to communicate
with each other. 

Warmly, Kathy
http://thing.at/face/

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